Just a Thought....Recovering My Soul.

Just a Thought.....Recovering The Soul. I am struggling here, folks. No shame in admitting that I am desperate. I find myself being my own worst enemy. I should be happy that some things have turned out okay. I got my van running again. The weather is getting better and I enjoy it so much. But when it comes to figuring out what is going on in my head. Well, that is the problem. I have strayed from my diet and have put back on about four pounds. Now that may not seem like a lot but when you are trying to lose weight. Well going back up a few pounds is a big problem. Trying to figure out a way to get more active and workout. I want to run but the pain right now is really terrible after I go out for a light jog. I am trying to break the regular habits that I have had for as long as I can remember. It is tough and I really come down hard on myself when I lose sight of my goal. I wish I had someone that could be my partner to keep me accountable. I feel like I have lost some momentum and I am really trying hard to get it back. I am my own worst enemy right now. My writing has been shit, my diet has been shit, my luck, my finances, and health have taken a hit. If it wasn't for mt faith right... I'd be absolutely lost. A few good moments here and there but I can't get past the bad ones. At least not yet. This doesn't mean I am not going to keep trying or that I give up easily. I think am in a rut and it sucks to be here. Tomorrow will start a new day and hopefully a new chance to start over. I do have goals and dreams to get to and this will not stop me. I just fell yuck and I think it is okay to feel this way sometimes. I just feel like I have let myself down because I know I am capable of more. I hope this doesn't come across a "whoa is me" type of post. I just need to vent and get it off my chest. I think I need a vent buddy and don't know where to turn to except all of you. I am going to give it another shot tomorrow so please wish me luck. I need a good run of luck and some divine guidance to get me back in the right direction. I know that deep within myself my soul I am crying out for help from above. I know he will answer in his time. I just gotta keep the faith. I always try to remember...walk by faith and not by sight. So tonight before I hit my pillow, I will brush my teeth and say a prayer. Hoping that tomorrow is a better day. So until we meet again friends....this was just a thought.