Just a Thought....Movies.

Just a thought.....Movies. So I am a big movie lover. It's been tough to get out and enjoy a good theater experience just because I am always working or busy with the family. But thank GOD for streaming services. They are my lifeline to the cinema. I am a self-admitted sucker for Rom-Coms and Action movies. I could watch either at nauseam but I will give just about any movie a shot. A good movie will be a good movie regardless of the genre. So after going back and watching a few of my favorites, I knew that I wanted to write my own movie one day. But that will be for another day. This one is about how so many great movies have emerged and I love that so much creativity is out there. People say Hollywood has run out of ideas. I just believe that they are just looking in the wrong places. The concept for the next great movie is sitting somewhere in some young screenwriters head just waiting for the opportunity. I think that rehashing old movies is getting played out and we need more original content. Being a romantic comedy fan, I do crave for a good love story. I think the last time I thoroughly enjoyed a big production rom-com was The Big Sick. I also love the action movie but I think big-budget films like The Fast and The Furious franchise has played itself out. I think we need new action stars, we need new blood. I wanna see the next Arnold, The next Stallone. I know that the plots are sketchy and the dialogue can be a bit obtuse but I bet you can quote some of the most iconic lines from many of those action movies. Nothing against horror movies, zombies and vampires but those kinds of movies just don't float my boat. Now aliens and the Supernatural are usually on the fringe but I do enjoy those genres when the movie is great. A la The Shape of Water. That is one of those fringe movies for me that I had no expectations for when I watched it but thoroughly enjoyed it once I was invested the time. It was weird but good. I could go on and on writing about this topic but I will end here for now and will revisit this subject soon. So until next time, this was.....just a thought.

Just a Thought....Smoking.

Just a thought....Smoking. So it's been almost five years since I smoked a cigarette and over ten years since I smoked on the regular. Do I miss it? Yeah, sometimes when I feel a bit stressed or sometimes when I have a nice hot cup of coffee on a cold day. Those were always my favorite times to light up a cigarette. Now that I see people walking around with their e-cigarettes blowing puffs of smoke around like a steam locomotive I wonder did I miss out on anything. I walk past people sometimes and smell the different aromas of smoke and it seems refreshing. Not having to smell the harsh pungent smell of tobacco on someone who smokes regular cigarettes. That was always one of the biggest buzzkills when I used to smoke on the regular. I hated the strong after aroma that stuck with you all day long. I know that the smell is strong because I have the worst sense of smell and I can tell when someone smokes cigarettes. I can't smell when my baby daughter has taken a dump in a diaper but tobacco smoke I can detect. I also see the different varieties of vapors smells and different types of e-cigarette dispensers that are available. They look so cool and sleek. I have seen stories of where these things explode in someone's face and either injure them badly or worse yet kills them. I can see where that can be a dangerous risk but the odds are that something like that you happens to you. It's like getting struck by a car or hit by a train. I am probably better off just staying on the wagon. Better for my health, probably better on my wallet but I do like how they look. I wonder if quitting the vape is just as hard as dropping the habit of cigarette smoking. Maybe one of you out there can tell the difference between doing both and which one gives you the best satisfaction. I know that doing both is probably bad for your health but please just let me indulge my curiosity. So until we meet again tomorrow this was .....just a thought.

Just a Thought....Glasses.

Just a thought.....glasses. So now that I am older somethings in my life have changed. Some drastic and some not so drastically. One of the things that I started to noticed was I was having a hard time reading the fine print. Now as most of you know, the fine print on any legal contract, website..etc..is always in really small print. I could usually read it without a problem up until about last year. I started finding myself pulling the paper or screen closer to my face to read it clearly. It was even hard starting to make out small numbers on certain products at the store. Then one day I was trying to read some instructions from a manual at work and just struggled to read it clearly. I had to let the nineteen-year-old kid who was my co-worker at the time read it to me. I felt downright embarrassed. I couldn't even admit to myself that I needed glasses. I wanted to fight it as long as I could because I had considered myself to have excellent eyesight. That was no longer the case. So one day while I was in one of the long lines at the Wal-Mart pharmacy I decided that I could at least look at the reading glasses they had while I was just there waiting. I mean what harm was it going to do, if anything it would provide me with a little self-entertainment. So I grab a pair of glasses and put them on my face, I didn't notice any difference except everything looked bigger and a bit distorted. So I walked over to one of the medicine bottles that were on the shelf directly across from me and started to look at the ingredients. It was like night and day. I could once again see the small tiny writing on the bottle so clearly and vividly. I was amazed. Thrown back at the notion that I was kidding myself that I didn't need glasses and that my vision was as good as it was when I was eighteen. When in truth I was denying myself the proper tools that I really needed when I would write and read. It was just funny how our pride won't sometimes let us accept the truth of the matter. I need glasses to read and write. Now that I have been wearing them more often it doesn't feel as weird. Actually feels normal to have them on my face and I like that it makes me feel more intelligent. Not that I am more intelligent but it is how you feel that is important. So until the next day, this was ....just a thought.

Just a Thought....Breaking a Bad Habit.

Just a thought.....breaking a bad habit. So one of the things that I am trying to do in my latest attempt in my self-improvement is trying to break a bad habit that I have had since I was a kid. This is been the hardest of them all....biting my nails. Losing weight has been hard and is still a struggle but this is one that I have never been able to defeat. As a little kid, I don't know when I picked up this habit. I do remember doing it when I got nervous, so much so something that I would make my fingers bleed. I even developed some sort of worts on the tips of my cuticles from always having my fingers in my teeth biting off my fingernails. I would bite them down to the point of no existence. As I got older it just became a habit that I would do subconsciously without even think about it. I would do it most often when I was driving. My mind is so entrenched in watching the road trying to navigate my way safely to my destination yet I would have one hand on the steering wheel the other was in my teeth biting my nails off. My wife would tell me to stop biting my nails when we would drive together. She might see me doing it while watching a movie and ask me if this movie was that thrilling that I had to bite my nails. It was always a dead give away to her when something was wrong and she could read my body language. This newest attempt has been going good, really good. So much so I can actually see small fingernails. The hardest part has been when I am out on delivery and my mind wanders to cruise control and the sometimes boredom of the road has me trying to send my mind back to those old habits. I catch myself and pull my hands back. I have even tried a new routine to drive with gloves on the whole time so when my minds send the signal to reach my fingers to my teeth, the gloves are there as a barrier and a reminder that I am no going back. I know that everyone at one point in time had a bad habit or nervous tick that they would do without even knowing that they were doing it. So please hold a good thought for me on this journey and knock on wood, because I am going to fight this tooth and nails....get it. Okay, my attempt at humor might have fallen short but I plan not to this time. So until the next day, this was....just a thought.

Just a Thought....The Checkout Lane

Just a thought....The checkout lane. So we have all been to the store to buy food, household items or things for leisure activities. I am sure that all of you have been to a huge retail store like Wal-Mart, Target, Costco,....etc. So once you have made your way throughout the facility to find exactly what you needed or not needed but impulses told you that you needed it. Then we must find a lane to check out our items. So we see about twenty lanes but only two are open and one is usually the ten items or less aisle So the only other option is the self-checkout lanes which also have about eight stations but only three are working and none of them take cash, so if you have ten thousand dollars in cash to purchase whatever you want, guess what. Your shit out of luck. So with so many customers in these huge palaces of commerce, my question is why so many lanes if your only going to have a few open. That never made sense to me. I thought the concept of having so many aisles is that you want to offer convenience to your customers. Get in and get out. I can walk into a place like Quicktrip, which of those of you who aren't familiar, is a gas station. They may only have three cashiers at any one time but have six registers and each cashier can man two registers at once and move the line in and out, lickity split. What a concept. So why have so many aisles and no cashiers to man these stations? It frustrates me to no end sometimes when I just want to grab items but have to wait thirty minutes because one cashier is going on break or there is a problem when you scan an item in the self-checkout and the cashier who is supposed to be watching the self-checkout aisles is busy talking to another cashier on break or the on-duty police officer. I know this sounds like petty bitching and let's be honest, it is, but when you have four kids in tow who have the patience of a hummingbird. It can get frustrating waiting in a long line. Anyways enough bellyaching for tonight, so until the next day this was .....just a thought.

Just a Thought......Customer Service.

Just a thought.....Customer Service. So if there is one pet peeve that I have it is customer service. It's not that when I visit a local establishment that I expect top-notch, white-glove service from an employee. Let's be real when your only getting paid minimum wage to serve customers who can be downright rude and temperamental. It can be hard to be enthusiastic about your job. But with that being said, this is a free country and no one is forcing you to go work either. When you report to your job, you do it of your own free will. No one has a gun to your head telling you to man the drive-thru at McDonald's. That decision is yours to make and I am of the mindset that if I choose to be here than I deserve to give my one hundred and ten percent. Not to be a suck up to the boss or the company but I do to not short change myself, I need to meet my own expectations. Whether it is cleaning dishes in a kitchen or delivering supplies to a Jobsite. I view them both the same and treat them as such every day. It's a choice we all have to make, just like it is my choice to no longer visit an establishment because I received poor customer service. I get that sometimes we all have a bad day but we also have to know that when we work, we also have to leave those emotions at the door. Now every time I mention this I always bring up fast food establishment because nine times out of ten this is where most of my bad experiences happen. I always hear, well their teenagers, what do you expect or they are getting crappy wages, how would you react. These are usually really shitty jobs. But to anyone that mentions these points, I always then how does Chick-Fil-A do it. They have teenagers, they have low wage jobs but yet the customer service is great. Sometimes even better than some fancy restaurants. It comes down the principal of how you train your employees and how much a company spends on teaching the art of customer service. My greatest joy sometimes is when I receive great customer service no matter the restaurant or the situation. So those of you who are in the foodservice, hospitality industries who love what they do and do their best regardless of their own personal situations at home, I salute you because it is people like you that make going out to eat a true joy. So until the next day, this was.....just a thought.

Just a Thought....Broken Promises

Just a thought.....broken promises. I have often heard that you are only as good as your word. Well if that is the case, then I haven't been a good person. I have had my fair share of broken promises and I know that have also committed my share of breaking them as well. It's not the greatest feeling on either end of that promise. I really admire those people that have the integrity to stand firm on the word. To be there when they say they are no matter the circumstances. The friend that is always there when they promise, the family member that always come through when they say they going to be there. I am trying to become that person. I have been terrible at this in the past but like anything you have to keep trying to be better in life. I am trying carefully on how I use my words and when I say that I will promise to do something. I haven't been a good friend, brother or father when saying that I promise to do something like "I'll be there or next we come, we can do this...I promise." The amount of hurt and disappointment that breaking a promise creates is immense. It creates a huge amount of distrust when you tell someone that you have broken a promise to in the past to [lace their trust in you again that this time you will follow through. I know this feeling all too well because I have broken promises that I have made to myself. What is worse than letting yourself down. Now just because I have committed this awful act in the past does not mean that you will always be this way. It just means that you have to commit to doing what you say you are going to do to whomever you make a promise to. If I have broken a promise to any on you in the past...I humbly apologize and I really sorry for putting you through it. I am trying really hard to turn over a new leaf. It's going to take time to train myself and my mind that we have to be as good as our word. So until tomorrow....this was just a thought.

Co-worker

Just a thought.....Co-workers. 

So if you have ever had a job, I am sure that you have a story about one of your co-workers. These are the tales of a couple of the strangest, other there characters that I have had the privilege to work within my career. There was the one co-worker that once told me and another employee that we shouldn't eat bananas because the government had been putting Aids in banans for years to thin out the population. That was one of the funniest moments that I can remember simply because he was dead serious and believed every single bit of that story. Then there was one co-worker that always had a better story than yours or anyone else's and the details were so outlandish that you couldn't help but shake your head and laugh. We actually use to call it Storytime with Ron (names have been changed to hide their identity). He literally told us that he sold weed to Willie Nelson and Waylon Jennings and stole 20 pounds of weed from a group of Jamaicans in a blazing gunfight. Tales so out there that you couldn't help but laugh. There was also a guy who would come to work early before his shift to meet with his side chick who would bring him lunch and then he would have his wife bring him food at lunchtime. This went on for about seven months. We all knew about it because at lunch he would share his food with some of us because he couldn't eat two meals and he didn't want to waste the food. I gotta say, I don't know if it was the wife or the side chick but one of them use to make a badass guiso. Then one day he forgot something at home and his wife went up there early to give it to him and she busted him with the side chick. That was a glorious day because everyone at the warehouse got to see the show. Needless to say that things changed for him after that and we didn't see him much after the incident. Then at another job, there was this one co-worker that would always warm up his food for lunch and it would smell up the breakroom something awful. The stench was sometimes really bad it would make some people in the office nauseous. I am sure that everyone has had that one co-worker that they will never forget simply because they were really good, really bad or just outright really weird. But it always takes different folks to make a workplace ebb and flow. I could go on and on with more stories from the array of different jobs that I have held over the years but it is too close to my bedtime, So until tomorrow folks remember to pray, love and give thanks. Oh yeah....and this was just a thought.

Untitled (How does it feel)

So today I have been thinking about writing a post. I just didn't know what I wanted to write about, so I have been racking my mind. It finally came to me after sitting in my chair and looking at the blank screen. I wanted to write about help. Being injured has made more grateful for the help of friends and family. So many concessions have been made for me because I needed help. I have four kids and a wife, one income and a fractured right foot that keeps me from being as active as I would like to be. Hearing other people tell me their experiences. Its sounds like I will never be like I was before the injury. This is concerning for me just because I was working two jobs, seven days a week, to support my family. It was a great opportunity for me to provide the necessities and even more for my growing family. Since the injury, I have had to learn to be dependant on others, which was a huge change for me. Having to get help at the grocery store, getting into my house is a struggle sometimes and even wanting to carry my youngest daughter is a task. I never realized how important these things were for me and how much they glare more now that I can't always do them. My friends and family have been incredible in support and helping me progress through this process. Now that my surgery looms closer, I will need them more than ever. I feel terrible because sometimes I feel like a burden and I hate feeling that way. I pray for a quick healing process and ask the Lord above to give the strength to deal with this injury. I know everybody has their own lives to deal with and I totally understand this, which is why I appreciate things, even more, when people can help. I know I can only do so much with this limited capacity and knowing that I should have done more to prepare for something like this before my injury eats me up inside. I know that God does things for a reason and this part of his grand plan for me, I just wish I knew where the path is leading. I don't question his rational because he has provided everything me family and I have needed but I guess I am just frustrated with my uncertain future. I don't know what capacity I will be able to operate after the surgery and how things will turn out with my job once I return. I have already been off work for two months and don't know how much more time I will be off after the operation. I guess the think I miss most the ability to be independent. As long as I remember, I have been able to drive myself from point A to point B without as much as an after thought, but now it is burdensome to have to ask someone to take me somewhere. I know I am going to pray even harder and ask for patience to be able to navigate through this injury. I just want to thank everyone who has helped me with anything and everything from helping me with a ride to a doctors appointment, taking me to the grocery store, opening the door, giving me advice and words of encouragement. Every single bit has been an answered prayer and I am blessed more than I could have ever imagined being. All I can tell all of you is Thank you from the bottom of my heart and until next time, this was .......just a thought.

Working through the Pain

Trying to work through frustration. So it's been seven months since I was injured at work and fractured my foot. Since then I have had surgery, therapy and have actually returned to work. I will not lie and say I have not had moments of joy like when I was walking again and once I got my orthotics they were awesome. But I have also had my share of setbacks. I believe that this happened for a reason. I still am working on learning the lesson God wants me to learn from this experience. It's just that frustration has set in and it's really testing my limits. Simple things like walking upstairs, cutting my yard, and running are challenges for me. I really took for granted the way I was before...not seizing opportunities to do things like playing basketball, jogging and playing with my kiddos. Life is still a blessing, don't get me wrong. It could be worse, I know that there are people out there who would still love the opportunity to walk or stand, I get that God has blessed me to still have that ability. But it just hard to work through the frustration knowing what you once were and what has been lost. I don't know if I will ever be like I was before the injury. If this is the best I am going to be, then I am ready to accept that and count my blessings and move forward. I just need to talk about it. Thanks for listening and until next time...this was just a thought.

Wasting Away Again

When you start resenting your job, is it time to up and leave or is the problem not the job but yourself. I am in the midst of trying to figure that out now. I wake up in the morning dreading going to work. I don't mind waking and doing the commute. That is actually the time when I reflect, try to inspire myself, listen to motivational videos, listen to music that moves my soul or I use that time to seek peace and forgiveness from my lord and savior. I get to work and feel wonderful. Some days I am able to carry that feeling throughout the day and others just seem to go down the tubes within minutes of arriving on the scene. Since I have returned to work after my injury, things have not been the same, The people seem the same, the work seems the same and other days it's the exact opposite. I use to have a different swagger when I went to work. Now it is like I have to build myself to feel normal. I know that I have been humbled because I don't find myself getting upset over the things that I use to get angry or frustrated with before. So is it the fact that things are different or is it me that is different. I don't find the work challenging anymore even though I have gained and learned more knowledge about the field in which I work. Some days I sit working and yet my mind isn't there but in other places. Some days, I put my best foot forward and become productive and accomplish a lot in the time that I am really working. I wonder if any of you have come across or have had similar feelings about their job. Maybe it is the fact that I have grown up in an entrepreneurial household and saw my father work and be his own boss and I one day want the same thing. To work for me, become self-sufficient and to be able to make my own hours, answer to no one but myself and my drive to be successful one day. Well, I hope that one day this will not be an issue for me personally and I would love to hear from all of you. Express your stories, experiences and maybe give me advice on becoming a better me. It's getting late and I have to get to sleep and wake up refreshed and hopefully ready to attack the day. So until then...this was just a thought.

Scatter Shotting

So sometimes you get an idea in your head that is just to hard to resist. It swirls and swirls in your head until it becomes almost like your mind discards every other thought except anything that has to do with this idea. And even the thoughts that do get through are necessary like "hey dude, you have to take a dump or you will shit yourself in Wal-Mart!" But even those circle back around into your thought madness. I had that coming onto my mind today and it has been there all day. Even now that I am writing this post the idea continues to feed into my writing. I only wish that this would happen more often because when they do they become the fuel for me to write like I love to write. With passion and a burning desire to strike the keys as feverishly as possible. I have an idea for a script that I started writing tonight and for some reason it has taken over my mind. It's also in a genre that I really don't care for that much. It's the most madding thing that has happened to me in a while and I am thoroughly enjoying that process. I mean, I literally struggle with finding the right words to write. But this shit is flowing right now and I am going to ride this wave as much as possible. Sometimes I overthink the situations and dialogue when writing but not today. I was rushed with words and thought that I wanted to take the time to share it with all of you. I don't want to break things up too much so I will cut this post short but I just wanted to get excitement out tonight. I will share with all of you how it goes tomorrow. So until then, I will bid you adieu. Until tomorrow....this was just a thought.

Dreams

Just a Thought........Dreams

So it has been a long while since I have written anything to my page. I just lost the will to write and didn’t see the need to share myself and my thoughts with the public because I felt dry and stale. I would start to write and then I would stop writing because that inner voice inside would tell me that what I was doing was useless. My content was crap served no purpose to nobody. I lost the nerve to publish my words. I felt empty, was stuck in a rut and just didn’t know how to pull myself from that dark hole I was sitting in...I literally gave up on my dreams. Then a good friend reminded me to not give up. I started to listen to motivational speakers, I started reading my bible and praying to GOD again. I wanted to dream again. I never thought that something so important as having a dream would be difficult to obtain. When I was a kid I always talked about dreams as being something I did when I was asleep. I never that your dreams were meant to be lived while you were awake. I always knew that I was supposed to have a dream. I just didn’t know what to dream about and how to make my dreams come true. I never knew myself that well when I was young. I didn’t know what I was meant to do in life, my purpose. I was like a log in the water, just drifting in the river until I landed I got stuck somewhere along the banks and couldn’t move forward anymore. I started to see that light in my kids that dreams are possible and what kind of father would I be if I didn’t encourage them to follow their dreams. What kind of lesson would they learn from me if I gave up on my dreams? Now that I am older and am starting to learn who I really am and who I am meant to be, my dreams are coming into focus and are all I can think about these days. I wake up and think that this is the day I breakthrough. The day I make the jump, take a walk by faith and know that GOD will have me go where he needs me to be. In the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson “Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” I am taking baby steps again but I am more determined to get there, to not give up on myself so easily. I still have a long way to go but at least I am walking again...literally and figuratively. So lookout for more postings...but for now this was…..just a thought. 

Getting Older

Just a thought....getting older. So as I sit here and think about what to write about I keep rubbing my knee because it is bothering me. I almost fell the other day when I stepped on one of the kiddos toys. I felt an immediate jolt of pain when I stepped on whatever dang toy was left on the floor. As I sat the bed and knew that I had injured myself in such a silly fashion. I came to a staunch realization that I am on the other end of the spectrum now. Gone are the days of falling off a skateboard or a bike and popping right back up as nothing had happened. I wake up with aches and pains that take a few minutes each morning to adjust to before I can start my day. Even if I was in peak performance shape for my age group, I think the risk for injury would still be the same. You are trying to fight a battle that has never been defeated and that is time. Time always wins, time is undefeated. Even the greatest athletes will deteriorate with time. So just accepting that I am getting older is something that I am adjusting to but am finding sometimes difficult. Just because I still feel young at heart doesn't mean my body feels the same. It's still a blessing that I am upright and mobile. I just know that physically I have some limitations. I am comfortable with that as long as my mind understands that we will never play in the NFL but we can walk a mile at a steady pace. These changes are what life is about and how we learn to accept and adapt to the changes will lay our paths into the future. Now to go rub some Icyhot on my knee and lay down with my trusty heating pad. So until tomorrow...this was just a thought.

The Snooze Button

Just a thought......The snooze button. So I am sure that the man or woman who invented the concept of the snooze button would have ever known how much of hero that they are to me. It's the single greatest invention next to toilet paper. I know that I should be able to spring right out the bed in the morning when the alarm on my phone goes off but even with sleep vision, I am able to make out where the snooze button is and let me tell you it's like winning the sleep lottery. I am instantaneously granted five or ten minutes of time to comfortable lay in my bed and stay warm under the covers to catch a few extra ZZ's. Sometimes it even encourages me to contemplate taking the day off. I know the concept had to invented by some poor kid whose mother was an early riser and would make them get up at the same time every day regardless of how they felt or how much sleep was obtained the night before. They would beg their mother "Mom, please just five more minutes." The answer was always no, of course. They must have said to themselves "When I get older, I am going to invent a clock that gives me the option to sleep in a bit longer if I so choose." Image all those lost minutes of sleep that we could have gained as children. When we as adults complain about how little sleep we get in our every day lives. When we should have taken advantage of that extra time to snooze away instead of having to get up for school or church. It was Benjamin Franklin that said, "Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise." but ol' Ben didn't know of the greatness that is snooze button and the greatest ten minutes of the day. So it's getting close to my bedtime and I can't wait until tomorrow morning and the chance to exercise my right to hit the snooze button. So until then...this was just a thought.