Just a Thought...Fighting the Good Fight.

Just a Thought....fight the good fight. It has been a few days since I last posted something. I am really fighting my own self procrastination and this sinking feeling that I have had lately. The struggle for me has been trying to regain my focus. After not feeling good for a few days, I thought that everything would go back to normal. But there were a few days where I just couldn't pull myself up and write. I don't know if I was just still feeling exhausted or depressed. I would sit down and just look at the screen and draw a blank. My mind would race about the other more pressing needs in my life. Like getting my wife's vehicle up and running again. Without it, life was a messy roundabout. I was just racking my brain for a solution to the problem. Praying and praying that things would work out is about the only thing I felt comfortable doing. Even now as I sit and write, I still have this sinking feeling that what I am doing is going to amount to anything. To be a writer, you have to be special and sometimes I don't feel special. I am really trying to concentrate and focus on getting back in a good groove. I am far from giving up, I am just feeling in need of finding support and direction. That uneasy feeling of spiraling in a circle is what the world seems like somedays. There is more than what is happening in my life all around but sometimes you just focus on your own little spec in this grand world and after real close evaluation, I see myself as a failure up to this point. This can't be all that there is to this life, my faith won't allow me to believe this but someday I just let that voice of self-doubt and loathe sink into my mind and it fucks with me in the most terrible ways. I think I just need to sit back and relax and regain perspective. It all begins with my prayers to God and how much I allow him to work in me. I still have a lot of changing to get even close to where I want to be as a Christian. I will go lay down tonight and ask God to guide me back to the path I was on. So for those of you still loyal and faithful readers....Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Keep this short and sweet tonight, I say " Parting is such sweet sorrow." Until we meet again..this was just a thought.