Just a Thought....The Struggle is Real.

Just a Thought...The Struggle is Real. When you make a commitment and try to become the person that keeps his word, you learn that it is hard to not only earn that integrity but to keep it. I am trying so bad to keep my word when I open my mouth to make a promise but it isn't as easy as one would think it would be. It hasn't always been this way with me and at some point, I just stopped caring when I would tell someone one thing and then not follow through. It was just so much easier to be that way but then you realize that when you need help and you have alienated the people that you're asking to help you, it's then when you find out that they too abandon you or they either have the grace to forgive for past discretions and help you regardless. I have been on both ends and I have to tell you that you need a big forgiving heart to look past those who have lied. I feel so bad now looking back on the terrible person that I used to be and hope for the person that I am becoming. I know that not everyone will be able to forgive and I understand and accept the fact that they don't but for those who have done what I have done to me. I must learn my lesson to forgive and I must also learn to not bite off more than I can chew and that if I can't hold up my word then I must be willing to communicate my apologies and accept whatever judgment that is weighed against me. I am learning to forgive myself and know that I am getting better and stronger as a person. My hope is that I can be seen by those closest around me as a person that they can depend on. If they can't, then I will do my best to seek forgiveness with God and move on. You will be able to win every battle but you can ultimately win the war. Like I stated, it is a struggle but one that I am learning to accept and enjoy the journey. Sorry for no post last night, but it was one of those new promises that I am trying to keep. I went to a beautiful wedding of some of my former co-workers and it was a grand time. I wish them nothing but the best, two wonderful and incredible people that deserve each other. So until tomorrow my friends....this was just a thought.